My sister got me thinking...

So over the past month my sister has been going through a number of tests to check for cancer. Now this isn't knew for her because she does it every year ever since she went into remission for Hodgkin's lymphoma some 10 years ago. It's not uncommon for the tests to show "something" and they do more tests but this time it was different. This time there was "something" and after a biopsy it was confirmed...she had breast cancer. She didn't really tell anyone after the first test. She said she didn't want to get anyone excited about something that might not be anything. After it was confirmed to be something, she told a few, like her children and called one sister who told the others (that's how it works in our family) and then we wrote her emails and messages on facebook so not to overwhelm her or ask her the same questions that she's had to answer over and over again to everyone else (that too is how it works) but to let her know that we supported and loved her.
It made me wonder why we do that. Why don't we tell those we are closest to when we are worried, struggling, or grieving. Do we not tell others because we don't want them to know what we're feeling...not want extra attention regarding our plight...not want to risk others rejecting us or not validating us and our concerns? "What if they ask how I'm doing? What will I tell them? Will I break down in cry? Will I yell how angry I am at the situation? Will I pretend that everything is okay with me? Will they be able to comfort me?" The questions we might ask ourselves could go on and on. And then when we know someone who is struggling with any number of life's possibilities why don't we reach out to that someone? "What if they cry? What if they get angry? What if they pretend everything is okay? Will I be able to comfort them?"
When and since my first husband died I've had many opportunities to be the one who shared of my struggles and to be the one who inquired of others who were struggling themselves. I've also had many opportunities that I have allowed to be missed. Although being on either side can be awkward and even intimidating, I can dare say that I have never regretted letting another in to my world or being invited into theirs.